I am a cheapskate when it comes to kids’ birthday parties, and I am proud of that fact. Somewhere along the way, kid party culture went from “pizza and a piñata” to “Coachella, but with juice boxes,” and I refuse to participate. My parenting philosophy can best be summarized as: If the city already bought a playground, why would I rent one? So I’ve thrown my fair share of parties at the free neighborhood pool and park myself, thank you very much, and I regret nothing. Which is exactly why I had no business being as annoyed as I was a couple weeks ago, when I met a friend at our neighborhood pool for a low-key Saturday chat and instead walked into what can only be described as a birthday party with a production budget. You know, the ones that live forever on Instagram Reels, where the balloon arch alone probably cost more than my car. There were at least three dozen 6-year-olds. A unicorn pool floatie the size of a Buick. Tables groaning under ...
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