Forget arguing about politics. A real high-stakes debate in American homes is about wearing shoes indoors. And there are some big differences by state. From Seattle to Arizona to Utah, people all have their own unique ways of treating the shoes-in-the-house question. One even involves checking for baby scorpions with a blacklight. (Looking at you, Phoenix.)
But Minnesota has the strictest policy I’ve personally encountered: Everyone takes off their shoes inside a home—every time, always. It was so well enforced that I became acutely aware of always wearing clean, non-holey socks because I knew people were going to see them. Now I live in Colorado, where people wear hiking shoes to weddings (to be fair, a lot of weddings here are in the mountains) and Tevas are considered an extension of your feet. Almost no one takes off their shoes inside a house unless they’re very wet or muddy.
But perhaps the biggest debate is in my own home. My husband and I have been bickering about this for years and still can’t come to a conclusion. (Well, I’m right, obviously, but I need your help convincing him.) I personally think Minnesota has the right idea. My husband not only thinks I’m nuts but also gets embarrassed when I ask guests—politely!—to remove their shoes. He says I’m being rude by asking them to take off a piece of personal clothing, so as a form of protest, he refuses to remove his shoes inside our home, not even after gardening and/or accidentally stepping on the dog. It’s become a whole thing.
So let’s save my marriage and my sanity and figure this out together. Putting aside familial power struggles, is it actually rude to ask people to take off their shoes when they come into your house?
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The case for asking guests to remove their shoes
I’m going to drop this first: All shoe soles showed contamination with microbes, including bacteria, fungi and fecal matter, in a 2023 study published in Indoor and Built Environment. And all of these germs transferred indoors when the shoe-wearing psychopath—er, I mean, person—walked inside. The majority of the germs were concentrated in the entryway, but carpet was an especially big magnet for gross stuff. So even if your shoes look clean, they’re about as clean as the dirty restroom floor you walked on earlier. Would you want that public bathroom floor in your home? No? Then the researchers recommend taking off your shoes.
“Taking off your shoes is a no-brainer,” said lead author Alessandra Leri, PhD, in an interview with Smithsonian Magazine.
So, yes, my argument is: Scientists say so. A lot of other people say so too. According to a 2023 CBS News/YouGov survey, two out of three Americans say they take off their shoes in their own home.
There’s also the practical case. Lots of things get tracked in via shoes—including mud, dirt, leaves, water, snow, ice and neon-green sidewalk chalk (ask me how I know)—that would require you to mop your floors.
And finally, there is the foot-stepping problem. Because my husband constantly wears shoes in the house, and the shoes reduce his ability to feel where he is stepping, he constantly steps on my toes, the kids’ toes and, occasionally, the poor dog. (The cat is faster and apparently smarter than the rest of us.)
The case against asking guests to remove their shoes
OK, so that survey stat I just smugly dropped? While it’s true that two-thirds of Americans take off their shoes in their own homes, two-thirds of those folks said they don’t require guests to do the same. My husband is correct that most folks won’t ask guests to remove their shoes. But is that because it’s rude to ask or just because it’s kinda awkward? The overwhelming majority of poll respondents, 90%, did say they wouldn’t consider it an unreasonable request if asked to remove their shoes by a host.
I think what my husband is really getting at is that we often treat guests with a higher standard than we do ourselves, so when I ask people to please take off their shoes, it can come across as unwelcoming or uninviting. Maybe even a little patronizing? And this is especially true for people you may not know as well. It’s one thing to ask your sister to take off her shoes; it’s an entirely different story if you’re asking your boss who dropped by.
Then there’s the embarrassment factor, and it’s real. I had an almost pathological obsession with having new, clean and adorable socks on at all times when we lived in Minnesota, and the times I forgot, I was embarrassed. And it’s not just socks. Guests may be embarrassed by foot odor, lack of a pedicure, a medical condition or just weird-looking toes. (It’s my personal opinion that all toes are weird-looking, but whatever.)
Also, some people build their whole outfit around their shoes, and I am occasionally that person. A cute summer dress just isn’t as cute without the strappy heels, right? Asking someone to remove their shoes messes up the whole look—which isn’t a big deal for a casual visit but can be an issue if you’re meeting your son’s girlfriend’s parents for the first time.
As for the germs? Mopping isn’t really that hard. I hate it, but on the list of terrible chores, it’s not as awful as cleaning the toilet and maybe around the same level of annoying as wiping fingerprints off the stainless steel fridge. And it works: Mopping removes about 80% of tracked-in bacteria, while disinfecting gets rid of 95% to 99%, according to one study.
The gray areas
This isn’t solely (ha!) a cut-and-dry issue. And the more I think about it, the more middle ground I find. Here’s what to consider before setting a “shoes off” policy in your house.
- The event. Asking a casual visitor to take off their shoes is fine. Asking someone who came over for a formal party or a holiday celebration may be rude because you wouldn’t take off your shoes if the party were held anywhere else.
- The person. Some folks genuinely need to keep their shoes on, whether that’s for balance, mobility or a medical condition. You should never ask your guests to do something that could inconvenience or hurt them.
- The time of year. While I still think shoes are dirty year-round, they are decidedly dirtier when it’s wet or snowy outside. There’s a huge difference between summer flip-flops and winter boots.
- The way you ask. Some people have a cute sign by their door, others mention it as guests enter, and a fastidious few will communicate the instruction in advance. But you should have a plan, because verbally ambushing someone once they’re halfway into your home is not nice. However you ask, you should be polite, kind and willing to take no for an answer.
- The method. Some cultures offer indoor slippers or shoe covers to guests, which is a lovely idea. While that’s not common in America, you can do things to make it more comfortable for your guests to remove their shoes, including having a bench where they can sit down and a mat or rack where they can place their shoes. Many of my Minnesota friends had a basket of clean guest socks by the front door.
What to do if someone refuses to take off their shoes
You accept it. Ultimately, it’s their body. This is not the hill to die on: In the grand scheme of things, this is small stakes. This is how you keep friends. This is also how I’m still married.
The verdict
It is not rude to ask someone to take off their shoes in your home—as long as you ask politely, offer options, are mindful of the situation and are ready to accept “no” as an answer. It doesn’t mean you have to be thrilled about it. And you are welcome to think vengeful thoughts as you mop the floor for the third time as your husband sits on the couch with his hiking shoes on, eating popcorn and smugly enjoying his shoe-wearing victory.
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Reader’s Digest has published hundreds of etiquette stories that help readers navigate communication in a changing world. We regularly cover topics such as the best messages to send for any occasion, polite habits that aren’t as polite as they seem, email and texting etiquette, business etiquette, tipping etiquette, travel etiquette and more. We’re committed to producing high-quality content by writers with expertise and experience in their field in consultation with relevant, qualified experts. We rely on reputable primary sources, including government and professional organizations and academic institutions as well as our writers’ personal experiences where appropriate. We verify all facts and data, back them with credible sourcing and revisit them over time to ensure they remain accurate and up to date. Read more about our team, our contributors and our editorial policies.
Sources:
- Smithsonian Magazine: “Shoes Carry Poop Bacteria into NYC Buildings, Study Finds”
- National Library of Medicine: “Impact of Protective Footwear on Floor and Air Contamination of Intensive Care Units”
- Indoor and Built Environment: “Faecal Indicator Bacteria on Indoor Floors Linked to Exterior Sidewalk Contamination in New York City”
- CBS News: “Most Americans Are ‘Shoes Off’ at Home — CBS News Poll”
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