Best book jokes

- Why did the book go to the chiropractor?
Someone cracked its spine. - What did the thesaurus order at the bakery?
A synonym roll. - What’s a snake’s favorite genre?
Hiss-torical fiction. - What do books wear in the winter?
Dust jackets. - Why did the two books become best friends?
They were always on the same page. - What did the library book say when it was feeling frisky?
“Talk Dewey to me.” - What did the library book say to its anxious neighbor?
“Get your shelf together!” - What did the confident book say at the checkout desk?
“Go ahead—judge me by my cover.” - Why was the textbook nervous at the hospital?
It was there to have its appendix removed. - Why do novels make terrible secret keepers?
Because they’re open books. - Why did the cookbook get invited to every party?
It really knew how to spice things up. - What did the prologue say to the epilogue?
“Long time, no see!” - What’s a pirate’s favorite part of a book?
The arrrr-c of the story. - What’s a frog’s favorite kind of book?
Anything with a hoppy ending. - Why did the tomato blush in the middle of the novel?
It got to the juicy part. - What did the flirty book say to the guy she met in the library?
“Check me out.” - What do you call a book that brags all the time?
Full of itshelf!
Library jokes

- What’s a librarian’s favorite dinner?
Shhh-kabobs! - Why did the burglar skip robbing the library?
He knew they’d throw the book at him. - Why did the librarian bring a ladder to work?
To reach the higher education section. - Why did the ghost haunt the library?
It heard the place had the best boo-ks in town. - Why did the skeleton get a library card?
He wanted to bone up on his reading. - What did the librarian say when the book was returned?
“Tome sweet tome.” - What’s the quietest pet in the library?
A hush puppy. - What section does a vampire visit first at the library?
The one with the best circulation. - Why did the wizard love the library?
Every shelf was full of spellbinding reads. - Why did the librarian turn down the invitation?
Her schedule was totally booked. - What did the sign say during the library renovation?
“Pardon our dust jackets!” - What did the library books say to the bookshelf?
“Thanks for the support!” - What did the librarian say to her BFF on girls’ night?
“Prose before bros!” - Why did the library cat get promoted?
It was purr-fect at catching bookworms. - Why don’t libraries host rock concerts?
The books already have plenty of volumes.
Novel jokes

- Why couldn’t Captain Ahab ever relax?
He always had a whale of a problem. - What’s Moby-Dick’s favorite dinner?
Fish and ships. - What happened to the bookworm’s balloons on a windy day?
One blew over the cuckoo’s nest. - Why did Odysseus owe the biggest late fee in history?
His library book was 20 years overdue. - What’s Mr. Darcy’s favorite exercise?
Swallowing his pride. - What’s Jay Gatsby’s favorite flower?
A Daisy, old sport. - What is a Minion’s favorite book?
Banana Karenina. - Why did Dorothy start a book club in Oz?
To prove there’s no place like tome! - Why did the Old Man and the Sea never give up on his book?
He was hooked on the ending. - Why did Dr. Jekyll carry two library cards?
Mr. Hyde kept racking up late fees. - What did critics say about A Tale of Two Cities?
It was the best of reads, it was the worst of reads. - What’s the Ghostbusters’ favorite Russian novel?
Slime and Punishment. - What’s 1984‘s favorite singer?
Boy George Orwell. - What’s a horror lover’s favorite crustacean?
Steven King Crab. - What’s Alexandre Dumas’s favorite candy bar?
Milky Way. (I bet you thought I was going to say Three Musketeers. He hates Three Musketeers!)
- Why couldn’t Captain Ahab ever relax?
Reading jokes

- What did the reader order at the campfire?
S’more chapters! - Why did the bookworm feel sick?
Something he read didn’t digest well. - How did the speed reader win the race?
She always skipped ahead. - Why is a TBR pile like laundry?
It multiplies every time you look away. - What’s a bookworm’s favorite cuisine?
Text-Mex. - Why did the bookstore hire a barista?
So customers could espresso their love of reading. - What’s a reader’s cardio?
Running out of shelf space. - What kind of books do skunks read?
Best-smellers! - What kind of books do cows read?
Moo-vels. - What kind of books do owls read?
Hoot-dunits. - What kind of books do mountain climbers read?
Cliff-hangers. - How do readers stay healthy?
They practice shelf-care. - What did the tea lover say to the book lover?
Read it and steep.
Why trust us
Reader’s Digest has been telling jokes for more than 100 years, curated and reviewed over the last 20 years by Senior Features Editor Andy Simmons, a humor editor formerly of National Lampoon and the author of Now That’s Funny. We’ve earned prestigious ASME awards for our humor—including comical quips, pranks, puns, cartoons, one-liners, knock-knock jokes, riddles, memes, tweets and stories in laugh-out-loud magazine columns such as “Life in These United States,” “All in a Day’s Work,” “Laughter, the Best Medicine” and “Humor in Uniform,” as well as online collections such as short jokes, dad jokes and bad jokes so bad, they’re great. You can find a century of humor in our 2022 compendium, Reader’s Digest: Laughter, the Best Medicine. For this story on book jokes, Laura Beck tapped her 15-plus years of experience as a professional humor writer for TV shows and magazines. Read more about our team, our contributors and our editorial policies.
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