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The 6 Weirdest Foods You Can Get at a Baseball Game This Summer

I’m headed to Chicago this week to watch the Cubs play the San Diego Padres at Wrigley Field. My mom will cheer on her Pads, my aunt and uncle the Cubs, while I, a Minnesota Twins fan, will spend the day wondering what it feels like to have a winning record. At least there will be food.

Ah, ballpark food. Is there anything better? I’m not sure if you can even get a basic hot dog anymore, but if you happen to want a giant bucket of nachos that weighs as much as a newborn baby, which is a real thing you can get at Chase Field, home of the Arizona Diamondbacks, this list of outrageous ballpark foods is for you.

Ahead, I’ll give you a preview of six absolutely on-the-level new foods you can get right now at Major League Baseball stadiums across the country. And if you’re headed to the ballpark this summer, make sure to bring an extra set of hands … or maybe a forklift. Read on to find the weirdest, wildest baseball food around.

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An 8-pound nacho bucket

Where you can get it: Chase Field in Phoenix, Arizona

Since I’ve already brought it up, let’s start here. Nachos are standard ballpark fare, and often one of the simplest: liquid neon cheese and handful of tortilla chips in a paper tray or, sometimes, a team-branded batting helmet. But this year, the Diamondbacks have seriously upped the size and topping stakes.

No clever names here—this is simply titled “Nacho Bucket” on the official menu, and you can get it topped with barbacoa beef, Southwestern chili, pork carnitas or a fajita-veggie blend—plus beans, cheese, pico de gallo, jalapeños, sour cream and heck, throw in the kitchen sink while you’re at it.

Diamondback fans over on Reddit say the bucket o’ nachos is tasty, if a little messy and soggy at the bottom. (“If I had been at home I would of lapped it up like a golden retriever,” said one.) When you’re done, use it for mopping or trick-or-treating, or clear off a large shelf to house a shrine to the memory of when you ate 8 pounds of nachos.

The Machete, a 2-foot-long quesadilla

Where you can get it: LoanDepot Park in Miami, Florida

Continuing the south-of-the-border theme (as well as the wow-this-is-big theme), the Miami Marlins’ stadium introduced a 2-foot-long quesadilla this year. Have fun balancing this monstrosity while carrying a few beers, which is what you will need to wash down the tortilla-wrapped mountain of carne asada, melted mozzarella and Oaxaca cheeses, guajillo pepper sauce, salsa verde and cilantro.

While the LoanDepot Park machete is new this year, the machete concept is far from it. Machete quesadillas are a Mexico City street food going back to at least the 1960s, and they’re named machetes because that’s what they they look like.

Fans have been generally enthusiastic, if a little acerbic:

  • “Honestly, if I’m in Miami I might go there for dinner, a ticket and that is probably cheaper than most places in Miami anyways,” said a Redditor.
  • “It should come with its own health insurance too,” said another.
  • “Not sure there’s ever enough people at any given Marlins game to eat a whole one of those,” said a third. Ouch.

Mini Dessert “Chicken” Bucket

Where you can get it: Yankee Stadium in the Bronx, New York

Yankees fans are going crazy for this bucket, which is not filled with nachos but chicken-leg-shaped ice cream novelties. I repeat, these are vanilla ice cream bars formed into the shape of a chicken drumstick—complete with a chocolate-covered pretzel “bone” inside—then coated with what looks like Shake ‘N Bake but is actually corn flakes and white chocolate.

I don’t know about you, but aside from the white chocolate, this one sounds delicious, if a little weird. Yankee fans agree:

  • “The chicken bucket ice cream is 🔥,” said one fan on Reddit.
  • “Can’t wait to get a chicken bucket for dinner and then a chicken bucket for dessert,” said another.
  • “They ran out before the first inning 😢,” lamented someone on Instagram.

9th Inning Rally Sombrero

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A post shared by KENS 5 News (@kens5)

Where you can get it: Globe Life Field in Arlington, Texas

What is it about nachos and extreme-food enthusiasts? If you’re at a Texas Rangers game this year, pick up this absolutely ridiculous concession that you can wear on your head as you walk back to your seat. Yes, really.

The 9th Inning Rally Sombrero is a sturdy paper sombrero with crispy tortillas nestled into the brim. Toppings are heaped on the tortillas, and the crown is filled with tortilla chips. You pick up the entire thing and, if you’re feeling adventurous, put it right on your noggin. Mmmm … nachos and hair.

Fans on Reddit immediately drew comparisons to a similar item from the world of entertainment: “Homer Simpson’s been rocking that since the ’90s,” said one, sharing a gif of Homer eating an edible nacho hat.

Another was looking forward to trying before buying: “If this guy was sitting in front of me, I’d be hard pressed not to sneak a couple bites.”

Schwarbomb Sundae

Where you can get it: Citizens Bank Park in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Named for Phillies left fielder Kyle Schwarber, this sugar bomb in a batting helmet combines several ballpark and carnival staples in one. The centerpiece is a peanut-butter-and-jelly Uncrustable that’s been dunked in funnel cake batter and deep-fried. That goes into a plastic Phillies helmet filled with vanilla soft-serve ice cream, then the whole thing is drizzled with fresh strawberry sauce and—blood sugar alert—Fruity Pebbles cereal.

Fans are delighted by the idea, if a little worried about self-control and health impacts: “I’ll eat 600 of these in one sitting,” said one person on Reddit. “Diabetes in a helmet,” said another. The fresh strawberry sauce counts as health food, right?

Lobstah poutine

Where you can get it: Fenway Park in Boston, Massachusetts

If you’re a fan of the Canadian import poutine, which is French fries and cheese curds smothered with a hot brown gravy (it’s delicious, we promise), think of this dish as an even more indulgent version. Fenway’s lobstah poutine starts with a pile of French fries in a cute paper fishing boat. But instead of cheese curds, you get chunks of lobster, and instead of gravy, it’s doused with clam chowder. Oh, and bacon.

“It’s the least fancy lobster I’ve ever had,” an employee of Boston’s WBUR said during a taste test, adding, “You know, when you’re eating something like this, it’s either going to be a weirdly elevated ballpark food or this is somehow going to drag lobster down into the gutter. And I think that’s what’s happening, but in a wonderful way.”

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Sources:

  • Reddit: “The Marlins are now introducing the machete …”
  • Texas Monthly: “Gather Your Friends and Try a Two-Foot-Long Machete Quesadilla at These Four Austin Trailers”
  • Reddit: “This actually looks pretty good to eat while watching a Rangers game, ngl”
  • Instagram: “Our NEW Mini Dessert ‘Chicken’ Bucket”
  • Reddit: “[MLB] The Yankees will have a Mini Dessert ‘Chicken’ Bucket”
  • Reddit: “The Phillies are introducing their new ‘Schwarbomb Sundae'”
  • MLB: “Phillies’ massive new sundae comes with a fried PB&J”
  • WBUR: “Is Fenway Park’s new ‘lobstah’ poutine actually … good? We reviewed the ballpark’s new food”

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