I admit that I am not one to strike up conversations with strangers. As an introverted writer, I prefer the written word to the spoken one. I like to use the self-checkout lane at the grocery store and have even gone so far as to choose doctors based on whether they use online scheduling. That said, I do try and smile or give a simple hello when I pass someone or enter a room—it’s just good manners, isn’t it?—and I’m often surprised at the number of acquaintances I have who will pass me by without any acknowledgement of my existence.
These little moments with strangers and others are called microconnections, and although we usually brush them off, they have positive impacts on our mental health—and beyond. “Talking to strangers has benefits for you, it has benefits for the person you’re talking to, and it has benefits for the community,” says Gillian Sandstrom, PhD, an associate professor of the psychology of kindness at the University of Sussex in the United Kingdom.
Society is so divided today that we could really use a way to bring us together and find common ground. Could microconnections be the solution? I talked to Sandstrom (well, OK, it was over email), who studies microconnections, to find out how to use these in-person daily interactions to improve your life, feel greater happiness and less loneliness, and bridge gaps in our collective sense of community. Read on for her tips.
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What are microconnections?
Although there’s no hard-and-fast rule about what constitutes a microconnection, such as the length of the interaction, the term usually refers to short, shared moments with a stranger or acquaintance, from a wave to a conversation. In many cases, you might never see the person again.
“It would be easy to feel that these tiny little moments of connection were not meaningful, but I think that’s absolutely not the case and that there’s a lot more value in them than people tend to think,” Sandstrom says. “An example I have is that I go for a walk most days, and I see people walking their dog, so I might chat with someone and ask about their dog or ask for a funny story about their dog.”
Other examples include:
- Ordering coffee from a barista and wishing her a good day
- Chatting with someone as you’re waiting for the bus
- Talking to a stranger at an event
- Saying hello to your mail delivery person
- Thanking your server for their attentiveness
- Complimenting an acquaintance’s outfit or shoes
- Making eye contact and smiling at someone you pass
- Holding the door for someone—or saying thank you to someone holding the door for you
“Any time when you’re around other people is an opportunity to make a microconnection that you might not even think about,” Sandstrom says.
Why do microconnections matter?
Microconnections matter because they help foster good feelings, a sense of well-being and community. Today’s world is a bit of a paradox: We’re more connected than ever thanks to social media and globalization, but there’s a growing epidemic of loneliness, in part because we have fewer reasons to leave the house and interact with strangers. Research shows that we spend less time with others than we did several decades ago.
“In many ways, we design our world so that we don’t have to talk to strangers as often. When I was growing up, you had to go to the bank to cash a check, and these days, you can pretty much do everything online,” Sandstrom says. “We’ve reduced the need to interact with strangers, and I think we’re out of practice.”
At the same time, distrust of others is growing due to the current societal divides in the United States. Without talking to strangers, we’re unlikely to meet others who are different from us or think differently than we do, which would otherwise broaden our perspective. “The research suggests that we are far more likely to learn new information from people we’re less close to, so acquaintances or strangers, because the people we are close to know the same things that we do,” she says.
What benefits do these small interactions bring to our lives?
Microconnections have many benefits, and a big one is combating loneliness.
According to a 2025 AARP study, 40% of U.S. adults now report being lonely, a significant increase from 35% in both 2010 and 2018. And a 2025 American Psychological Association survey found that at least half of U.S. adults polled have experienced emotional disconnection, saying they felt isolated from others (54%), felt left out (50%) or lacked companionship (50%) often or some of the time.
But microconnections can help. “I’ve been talking to strangers for years now, hundreds and hundreds of people,” Sandstrom says. “And some of the individual conversations are really great and fun and interesting and informative and sometimes life-changing.”
Here are some of the positive effects of microconnections:
You’ll boost your mood
After a helpful interaction with a friendly salesperson or a cheery “Good morning!” from a neighbor, you’ve felt your mood boost a little, right? That’s one of the most obvious effects of microconnections, and it’s backed up by research.
“The first benefit that [was] documented by both myself and my colleagues was just the fact that it’s fun,” Sandstrom says. “There are mood benefits: People are in a better mood after they have a brief conversation with a stranger.”
Social connection increases levels of the feel-good hormones oxytocin and dopamine in the brain, while decreasing the stress hormone cortisol. The result is a greater sense of happiness and well-being. “It’s the sense of connection, that sense of feeling seen by someone else that creates that mood benefit,” Sandstrom says.
You’ll boost someone else’s mood
Microconnections are two-way streets that benefit both participants. “Just having a small moment of human connection where you show someone that they are being seen is an act of kindness,” Sandstrom says. So give your barista a big smile and thank-you tomorrow morning! Being kind to others makes the recipient feel good, but it’ll make you feel good as well.
You’ll feel more connected
Humans are social creatures whose survival has always been dependent on being part of a group. In other words, we are hardwired to crave this connection with others. “Research suggests that belonging is just a fundamental human need,” Sandstrom says.
And that sense of belonging helps us move securely through life. For Sandstrom, “the biggest benefit is just this feeling that I can walk around the world and trust that people are generally OK and have that feeling of safety around other people because I feel this sense of trust and connection to other people,” she says.
You may be more open with strangers
Interestingly, Sandstrom says one benefit of microconnections is that you may be more open to sharing deep thoughts with strangers because there’s less emotional risk than opening up to people you’re close to.
“You can have a microconnection that does involve small talk, but you can also have microconnections that go a lot deeper than that, and I think in some ways, it’s easier to have a more meaningful conversation when you know you’re not going to see the person again,” she says. “There’s research showing that people actually tend to disclose more often to acquaintances or people that just happen to be in the right place at the right time when there’s no emotional investment.”
You’ll gain new perspectives
Chances are, at least some of the strangers you talk to will be quite a bit different from you, which gives you an opportunity to experience more diversity in your life. As Sandstrom notes, we learn more than we expect to when we engage with strangers.
“We tend to be quite similar to most of the people we’re close to; we tend to spend our time with people that have similar values, similar backgrounds and personalities,” Sandstrom says. “So when we encounter someone we aren’t close to, we’re probably more likely to be talking to someone who’s different from us, and so it helps us be exposed to different ideas.”
In addition, research shows people may actually have more “intellectual humility” and be more open to considering opposing viewpoints when talking to strangers. “It feels easier to be open to hearing different perspectives and an opinion that doesn’t align with yours when we don’t have that emotional connection,” Sandstrom says. “If your close family member has completely different political opinions, it’s hard to take, but if it’s someone who you don’t know, it doesn’t bother you as much, and you can be more receptive to their ideas.”
You’ll strengthen your community
The benefits of microconnections go beyond just the two people involved in one interaction. Increasing these types of interactions between many people may actually benefit society at large.
“I did a study where I found that people are more trusting of others after having a conversation with a stranger, so that also feels like a benefit to our communities and societies,” Sandstrom says, revealing that she’s currently working on unpublished findings about the extent to which these kinds of interactions have benefits to the community.
“That sense of community is a huge thing we get from talking to strangers—it’s just feeling there’s this shared humanity, that we are seen by other people and valued by other people,” Sandstrom says. “It means that I walk around the world feeling like I’m part of a community and part of the campus where I work.”
How can you get the most out of your daily interactions?
Sandstrom says you don’t have to be a naturally extroverted person to reap the benefits of microconnections. “I am definitely an introvert, and I actually find that talking to strangers works well for introverts,” she says.
She gives the example of taking the Tube, aka the London Underground or subway, “which is an overwhelming thing for an introvert because it’s crowded, it’s noisy, it’s hot,” she says. “I find that if I turn to the person sitting next to me and have a one-on-one conversation, that actually helps me block out all that noise and chaos around me and helps me feel less overwhelmed.”
In situations like that, you really have nothing to lose. “You choose who you’re talking to, and then you know you’re going to be able to walk away and never see that person again, so you don’t have to worry about what they’re thinking about you, which makes it feel like a fairly safe interaction.”
Plus, you’ll likely feel more positive about the interaction than you think you will. “There’s research showing we tend to think we can’t get into a meaningful conversation with someone we don’t know, that it would be awkward; but that research also finds it’s far less awkward than you might think and actually far more enjoyable,” she says.
Here are Sanderson’s specific tips for speaking up and making the most of your interactions:
Put yourself out there
Attention, people who love working from home: You can’t have interactions with strangers if you never come into contact with them.
“I did an interview on a podcast, and someone emailed me afterward and said they wanted to try talking to strangers, but they didn’t know if it would work where they lived,” Sandstrom says. “Then they emailed back a little while later and said they realized their patterns in their daily life didn’t really allow them to come across strangers.”
Sound familiar? There’s a trick: “So a first step is just you have to get out there and put yourself in situations that allow you to run into other people,” she says.
Start small
You don’t have to become a master conversationalist all at once. Starting with a smile and eye contact can be a way to ease into the habit. “You can work your way up, and it can take a while to get comfortable,” she says. “I like to smile at people, but also not all the time, so they know that I’m not just walking around happy but I’m actually smiling at them.”
Next, you can try greeting people with a simple “Hello” or “How are you?” And then, when you’re feeling comfortable, you can try and start a conversation, she says.
Begin a “QUICK” conversation
Sandstrom advises using the acronym QUICK as a guide for beginning conversations:
- Ask a question (QU): “I think probably the most common thing I’ve done to start a conversation is ask what you’re doing—in a curious way rather than an accusatory way, of course!” Sandstrom says. Or ask them about something they’re wearing or reading. Don’t underestimate how much people like to talk about themselves.
- Find something in common (IC): “You can point out something in your common space,” Sandstrom says, like the weather, but don’t be afraid to go deeper. Do you both have your dogs with you, or your kids? “I’m often starting it by commenting on something we have in common, and those kinds of conversation starters do tend to result in something that’s a little more meaningful than small talk.”
- Go for kindness (K): “Kindness could be offering to help someone find their way or giving someone a compliment,” Sandstrom says. If you see someone drop something, pick it up for them, or if they’re having trouble with something, offer to help. Think about a time when a stranger did something kind for you and how that made you feel, then pay it forward.
Practice your skills
Even if you’re not an introvert, many of us have gotten used to having less interaction with strangers, especially since the pandemic. Sanderson says it may feel a bit uncomfortable or hard to connect with others at first.
“COVID made it so that we weren’t allowed to talk to strangers for quite some time, and I think a lot of people felt like they got out of practice doing it,” Sandstrom says. “There’s a certain level of self-consciousness; it’s easy to convince ourselves that we’re not capable, and stop doing it. So I think it’s really important to have repeated practice.”
So give it a try! You may create more happiness for yourself and others—and even improve your community, society and the world. And if you mess up, who cares? You’ll never see the person again.
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Sources:
- Gillian Sandstrom, PhD, associate professor in the psychology of kindness at the University of Sussex; email interview, January 2026
- American Psychological Association: “Stress in America: 2025”
- AARP: “Disconnected: The Escalating Challenge of Loneliness Among Adults 45-Plus”
- Pew Research Center: “Americans are less likely than others around the world to feel close to people in their country or community”
- CDC: “Health Effects of Social Isolation and Loneliness”
- CDC: “Community and Connection”
- Social and Personality Psychology Compass: “Social support from weak ties: Insight from the literature on minimal social interactions”
- Journal of Experimental Social Psychology: “Talking to strangers: A week-long intervention reduces psychological barriers to social connection”
- Self and Identity: “Why do people avoid talking to strangers? A mini meta-analysis of predicted fears and actual experiences talking to a stranger”
- Journal of Positive Psychology: “Improving social connection with weak ties and strangers: effects of a new micro-intervention on interaction quality and social behavior”
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