Party of One! Here’s How to Enjoy Going Out to Dinner by Yourself—And Feel Totally Comfortable with It
Anna Batho started dining out alone as a solo world traveler at 19. But what started out of necessity ended up becoming one of her favorite pastimes, even now that she’s a clinical psychologist and loneliness researcher. In fact, this was part of the inspiration for her current book on how to combat loneliness because, as she points out, being lonely and being alone are two very different things.
“I have friends I can eat with, but sometimes I just want to choose the restaurant I want, the time I want, the food I want and spend ages just thinking, watching and reading,” she says. “My favorite pastime is people-watching, and so even in my home city, I grab a book, choose a cafe and watch the world go by, pretending like I’m on holiday.”
Sounds lovely, right? For her. A seasoned traveler! A confident solo diner! A woman who is literally writing a book about being comfortably alone! Meanwhile, for the rest of us, the thought of saying, “Table for one, please,” feels roughly as appealing as getting a root canal while doing your taxes. In the rain. On your birthday.
But that voice telling you it’s weird to eat alone? It’s lying. “It’s intimidating because we’re not used to it, so we don’t know ‘how’ to do it—but that’s just because you haven’t tried it yet!” Batho says. “Like anything, it takes practice to have confidence in it.”
And confidence is exactly what you’ll find once you take the leap. Solo dining has exploded in popularity, with reservations for single diners spiking 22% in the third quarter of 2025 compared with the same period last year, according to Toast’s Restaurant Trends Report. Meanwhile, OpenTable reports an impressive 64% rise in solo dining since 2019. Roughly 1 in 5 Americans (21%) now say they typically dine alone, and among younger diners, the numbers are even more striking: 49% of Millennials and 46% of Gen Zers report dining solo once a week or more.
So why does it still feel so intimidating—and more importantly, how do you actually do it? “It’s almost like a cheat code,” says Alexandra Allen, a professional New York City chef who also worked as a restaurant manager for 10 years (and loves dining alone). “Once you unlock this skill, you’ll wonder why you ever waited for anyone else.” Read on to find out exactly what you need to know to be a solo-dining pro.
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Why is it so intimidating to eat by yourself at a restaurant?
It’s not that deep: because we’ve been socially conditioned to feel weird about it. “There’s a societal assumption that we ‘should’ eat in company, and if we don’t eat in company, then we worry that we’re viewed as ‘weird’ or a ‘loner,'” Batho explains. “And of course, no one likes negative social judgment. The reality is, no one else even notices, let alone cares.”
There’s also the uncomfortable fact that eating alone means being alone with your thoughts. No scrolling through your friend’s food pics while they talk about their day. No debating whether to split dessert. Just you, your meal and whatever’s rattling around in your head. “That gives us time to worry about the past or the future and sometimes gives space to feel emotions that we’re trying to avoid,” Batho adds, putting on her psychologist hat.
Allen remembers from her restaurant-management days that solo diners would often feel like they had to offer an explanation for why they were eating alone. But, she says, “I really wish people wouldn’t worry so much. We never thought it was strange at all.”
Allen adds: “We’re all the center of our own stage, but the truth is that no one is watching you or judging you.” The bottom line is that they’re too busy eating their basket of garlic bread and arguing about who’s driving home.
Are there any benefits to eating out alone?
Oh, are there ever. Let me count the ways—or rather, let Batho count them because she’s clearly thought about this more than most.
Taking care of yourself
“It’s a chance to regain control and choose self-care,” Batho says. “You can be as quick or slow as you want, you can eat exactly what you want, spend as much or as little as you like. You get to control your experience entirely, so it’s a chance to put other people’s needs to one side and focus on your own. We rarely do that in life, and it’s incredibly nurturing.”
No one is going to give you side-eye for ordering two appetizers as your entree. No one is going to rush you because they want to catch the 8 p.m. movie. No one is going to make you feel guilty for wanting extra butter on literally everything. It’s pretty heavenly when you think about it!
Lowering stress levels
But the benefits go beyond pure self-indulgence. A 2023 study published in Scientific Reports tracked 178 adults for 21 days and found that on days when people spent more time alone, they reported feeling less stressed and having greater autonomy satisfaction—and these benefits were cumulative over time. Other research, published in the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, found that solitude led to relaxation and reduced stress, specifically when individuals actively chose to be alone—the key distinction being intentional solitude versus isolation by default.
“It’s also a great opportunity to pause and reflect rather than react to what life is throwing at you,” Batho adds. “So much of our days, we simply react, we’re in automation, but solo dining means you can slow down and let your mind wander wherever it needs. This relaxed state will help you engage your frontal cortex, which can be brilliant for problem-solving and decision-making.”
Enjoying your meal
Eating out by yourself also makes for a better dining experience. Think about it: When you’re not distracted, you can savor your food more, Allen says. And remember: “[Chefs] spend a lot of time and care to get our recipes just right, and you’ll miss the nuances of the flavors if you’re rushed, like with kids or [when you’re] trying to pay attention to someone else.”
Looking confident and cool
And then there’s the image factor. “I also happen to think it looks incredibly glamorous and sophisticated,” Batho says. “It conjures up images of the successful traveling businessperson, the ‘I’ve got my sh— together’ ambitionista, the romantic image of an artist caught in the brilliance of their own creative mind, and it definitely gives off vibes of confidence and independence.”
Not bad for a Tuesday night with yourself.
What’s the best strategy for dining solo at a restaurant?
Ready to give it a try? Here’s your game plan, broken down into manageable steps that will take you from nervous newcomer to confident regular.
Remember: No one cares
This isn’t pessimism; it’s freedom. “Remind yourself that no one is worried about what you are doing,” Batho says. “Look up and test it out! Do people look and stare? No. They are in their own world.”
Allen confirms this from her decades in restaurants both as a customer and an employee. The only person who thinks everyone is staring at you is you. Everyone else is focused on their own meal, their own conversation, their own internal monologue about whether they should have ordered the fish.
Choose your seat strategically
Your seating choice can make or break the experience. “Get a seat at the counter, bar or [by] a window looking out so you can watch the bar/kitchen/world go by,” Batho suggests. “Lone diners in these spots are common.”
The bar is particularly solo-diner friendly—bartenders and bar staff are accustomed to serving individuals and often provide more engagement and conversation than floor servers, Allen says. But Allen’s go-to spot is the table closest to the action. “I tell people to ask for a solo seat right by the kitchen if that’s available,” she says. “You get to watch the chefs create, and they love sharing their craft with others. You might even get some extra tastes.”
If you prefer quiet, a corner table works beautifully too. The key is choosing a spot that feels comfortable to you, not one that makes you feel like you’re on display.
Bring a prop (or don’t)
“I always have a notebook, laptop or book with me,” Batho says. “That not only sends a message to others that you’re dining solo for a reason (because you have a solo activity), but it’s a backup if you get bored. It also gives you something to take your mind off any worried thoughts if they overwhelm you.”
That said, you don’t have to bring anything. Some solo diners—Allen included—find that going phone-free and prop-free forces a kind of presence that’s actually restorative. You notice the restaurant’s ambience, the details of the plating, the conversations floating around you. It can be a form of meditation, if you let it.
“I don’t even like having my phone in my pocket,” Allen says. “There’s always so much going on in the restaurant that is so interesting.”
Connect with your server
Allen recommends asking your server a question early on—something like “What’s your favorite dish?” or “What do you recommend tonight?” This creates a small human connection that makes the whole experience feel less isolating. Plus, you’ll probably get better recommendations than you would staring blankly at the menu.
“Good servers will take their cues from you,” Allen says. “If you want to chat, then they’ll chat, but if you are quiet, they’ll respect that too.”
Don’t be afraid to talk to people
“Look up, smile and see what happens,” Batho encourages. You never know—you might strike up a conversation with someone fascinating. And if that feels too extroverted, no pressure. The beauty of solo dining is that you set the terms.
Does dining out alone pose any unique challenges?
Yes, though they’re mostly in your head. “I think the main challenge is dealing with the thought that ‘People can see that I’m on my own; they think I’m a loser with no friends,'” Batho acknowledges. She combats this by “having a prop to make me look occupied, remembering I can’t read minds so they probably don’t even notice I’m alone, and conjuring up images of poets, actors, musicians, writers and model types on Instagram—because they always look like they’re eating alone at a cafe, so if they can, I can too.”
There may also be a few practical challenges. Some restaurants may try to rush solo diners through their meals or seat them at less desirable tables in an attempt to turn over tables for larger, more profitable parties, Allen says. While this is becoming less common as solo dining grows in popularity, it does happen. If you feel like you’re being rushed or overlooked, remember that you’re a paying customer who deserves good service. A polite but firm “I’m still enjoying my meal” usually does the trick, Allen says. And if a restaurant truly doesn’t respect solo diners? Vote with your feet and take your business somewhere that will.
As for the best restaurant to do this, some are naturally more solo-friendly than others. Counter-service spots, ramen shops, bars with full food menus, and any place with bar seating tend to be great choices. But honestly? With the right mindset, you can dine solo anywhere.
What should you do if you’re still feeling really weird about it?
Start small. A coffee shop is a perfectly acceptable gateway drug to solo dining—no one blinks at someone reading a book over a latte. Graduate to lunch, which tends to be more casual and quicker than dinner. Then work your way up to a full dinner service when you’re ready.
You might also want to consider communal dining, which is having a major moment right now. These are restaurants where unrelated parties are seated together at shared tables. According to Resy’s research, 90% of Gen Zers enjoy dining at communal tables, and 1 in 3 diners have made a new friend this way. It’s a nice middle ground: You’re technically dining solo, but you’re surrounded by people, and conversation happens naturally if you want it to.
The most important thing is to just do it. “I love it and savor it,” Batho says of her solo-dining habit. The first time might feel awkward, but it gets easier over time, and the payoff is worth it.
“Some of my most memorable meals were ones I ate solo,” Allen adds. “And it wasn’t great in spite of eating alone—it was because of it. It’s a totally different culinary experience, and everyone should try it.”
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Sources:
- Anna Batho, PhD, clinical psychologist with the NHS in the U.K.; interviewed, Jan. 14, 2026
- Alexandra Allen, professional chef and former front-of-house manager; interviewed, Jan. 14, 2026
- TouchBistro: “2025 Diner Trends Report.”
- Toast: “Restaurant Trends Q3 2025.”
- OpenTable: “Solo Dining Trends and Tips.”
- Scientific Reports: “Balance between solitude and socializing: everyday solitude time both benefits and harms well-being”
- Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin: “Solitude as an Approach to Affective Self-Regulation”
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