In Reader’s Digest’s new series “Is It Really Rude to…,” Charlotte Hilton Andersen tackles low-stakes etiquette questions from everyday life using a combination of her common sense and vast knowledge from writing 50-plus etiquette stories for this site. Have a situation you can’t stop ruminating on? Email us at advice@tmbi.com, or message Charlotte on Instagram at @Charlottegfe.
A few weeks before Christmas, I sent my second son, who’s away at college, a very simple text. “Are you staying at school for the break, or are you coming home? And if so, when will you be here? Let me know your plans! Love you!!!”
His response? “Sure.”
Sure. SURE. Sure to what? Sure you’re coming home? Sure you’re staying? Sure, you acknowledge I exist? Sure, the sky is blue and words have no meaning?
I stared at my phone for a solid five minutes waiting for clarification. A follow-up text. A screenshot of his travel plans. A picture of him with sprained thumbs to explain why he can’t type more. Anything. Nothing came. And because I have other children, two jobs, a seemingly never-ending list of tasks and approximately 47 browser tabs open in my brain at all times, I decided to follow up the next day. He left me on read … for the next two weeks. His own mother. (And yes, I tried calling. But, true to Gen Z etiquette, he hates answering the phone and will only do so if you text first. Which I tried.)
Fast-forward to Christmas Eve. After two weeks of radio silence, suddenly there he is—my 6’4″ son, duffel bag slung over his shoulder, casually asking when dinner is. And if I could give him a haircut.
“You’re here?!” I shrieked.
“Yeah?” He looked at me like I was the confusing one. “I said I was coming.”
“You said ‘sure.'”
“Yeah. Sure. As in, sure, I’m coming home.”
The rest of the family erupted into chaos. We hadn’t bought enough food. His room had become a gift-wrapping staging area. I needed more stocking stuffers. I had to wash the guest sheets (for my sanity, not his—pretty sure he hasn’t changed his dorm sheets since the semester started, bless him).
And yet, in his mind, he had answered my question completely. Sure. What more did I need? Then he pointed out that he’d also included a thumbs-up emoji reaction, which apparently should have provided extra clarity. “I wasn’t trying to be rude—I swear, I thought you knew,” he said, and gave me a big hug. And he does give the best hugs.
Still, this got me thinking: When did “sure” become a complete sentence? And more importantly, is it rude to respond to a text with a one-word answer, or am I just old?
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The case for one-word answers
Look, I’m not unreasonable. I understand that communication styles have evolved. Just in my lifetime, generational communication has gone from handwritten letters to emails to texts to whatever hieroglyphic chaos Gen Alpha is cooking up on their phones. Although I am prone to over-explaining—both in real life and texting—I also know it can be overkill. Brevity is the soul of wit, Shakespeare said, and I’m guessing he would have been a “k” texter if he’d had the chance.
There are times when a one-word response is perfectly acceptable—even preferred. If someone texts you, “Did you pick up the milk?” a simple “Yes” is efficient and clear. If your friend asks, “Italian or Thai for dinner?” replying “Thai” is not rude; it’s just answering the question. Not every text requires a paragraph.
Not to mention, we’re all drowning in notifications. Between work emails, group chats, social media and the fast-food app you were forced to install to order at the drive-thru that messages you five times a day, sometimes you genuinely only have the mental bandwidth for one word. Responding at all is a victory. The alternative is leaving someone on read for three days and then sending an apologetic novel explaining that you’ve been “so crazy busy” (which everyone knows is code for “I forgot about you until I saw you post an Instagram story”).
One-word responses are also, arguably, the great equalizer of our time. They don’t require perfect grammar, carefully chosen emojis or the 15 minutes it takes to craft a message that sounds casual but not too casual. They’re democratic. Everyone from CEOs to teenagers can fire off a “Yep” or “Cool” without thinking twice.
The case against one-word answers
That said, “Sure” is not the same as “Yes.” And context matters. When your mother—who gave you life, drove you to 4,000 sports practices, shopped three times a week to keep you fed and is currently trying to plan a holiday around your existence—asks you a direct question about your plans, perhaps more than a single syllable is warranted.
The problem with one-word responses is that they shift the mental load onto the other person. Now they have to figure out what you meant. They have to decide whether to follow up or assume. They have to spend their precious brain cells decoding your monosyllabic mystery message when you could have just typed three extra words.
One-word answers can also come across as dismissive. “Fine.” “K.” “Whatever.” These can technically answer a question, but they carry a tone. You can practically hear the eye roll. And in text, where we don’t have vocal inflection or facial expressions to soften things, brevity can feel like coldness. A “Sounds good!” reads very differently than a “K.” Imagine texting a friend or family member, “Can you watch the kids tonight? I’m really struggling,” and getting back “OK.”
Then there’s the ambiguity problem, which I experienced firsthand in the Great Christmas Text Fiasco of 2025. Not all questions are yes or no. Some have options. Some have multiple parts. And replying with a single word to a question that clearly requires more information isn’t just bad texting etiquette—it can send everything into a tailspin.
What do the experts (and my friends) say?
When I polled my social media followers on this burning question, the responses were interesting. While most of the respondents said they think one-word answers are rude, the majority also copped to sending one-word answers themselves. It’s a tug of war between politeness and efficiency, and exhaustion is winning.
My friend Hanna, a therapist, pointed out that texting expectations are often mismatched. “People assume everyone communicates the same way they do,” she said. “Someone who prefers brief texts might think they’re being efficient, while the person on the receiving end feels dismissed. Neither is wrong; they’re just different.” Which sounds very reasonable and mature, but also, my son caused a Christmas crisis, so I’m not ready to be that enlightened yet.
My friend Caleb, who is 25 and therefore slightly more in touch with the youths, said, “Texting is for quick stuff. If you want a real conversation, call.” But then you run into the problem that people don’t answer their phones anymore.
The exceptions to the rule
Like most etiquette questions, the answer here isn’t black and white. Some one-word responses are totally acceptable. Others are crimes against communication. Here are my guidelines.
One word (or just an emoji reaction) is fine when:
- The question is genuinely yes or no. (“Did you lock the door?” “Yes.”)
- You’re confirming something simple. (“See you at 7?” “Yep!”)
- You’re in the middle of something and need to respond quickly. (“Can you talk later?” “Definitely.”)
- The other person also communicates in one-word responses. (You mirror their energy.)
One word is not fine when:
- The question has multiple parts or options. (See: my son.)
- You’re responding to something that took the other person emotional effort to write.
- The single word is passive-aggressive. (“Fine.” “Whatever.” “K.”)
- You’re responding to your mother.
The verdict
Context is everything. One-word responses aren’t inherently rude, but they can become rude based on the question, the relationship and the tone. The polite move, if you’re short on time, is to either answer the actual question clearly (“Coming home!”) or acknowledge you’ll respond properly later (“At work, will text tonight!”). Brevity is fine. Vagueness that makes other people do detective work is not.
And to my son: I love you. You’re brilliant. I’m so glad you made it home for the holidays! But next year, I’m requiring full sentences. With punctuation. Maybe even an emoji. Let’s call it the Christmas Clause.
Why trust us
Reader’s Digest has published hundreds of etiquette stories that help readers navigate communication in a changing world. We regularly cover topics such as the best messages to send for any occasion, polite habits that aren’t as polite as they seem, email and texting etiquette, business etiquette, tipping etiquette, travel etiquette and more. We’re committed to producing high-quality content by writers with expertise and experience in their field in consultation with relevant, qualified experts. We rely on reputable primary sources, including government and professional organizations and academic institutions as well as our writers’ personal experiences where appropriate. For this piece, Charlotte Hilton Andersen tapped her experience as a longtime journalist who specializes in etiquette and communication for Reader’s Digest. We verify all facts and data, back them with credible sourcing and revisit them over time to ensure they remain accurate and up to date. Read more about our team, our contributors and our editorial policies.
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