Who Does Your Dog Love Most in the Family? Here’s How to Tell If It’s You
It’s natural to hope that you are your dog’s favorite personand to wonder if you really are. When my husband, Bryan, and I adopted our first puppy, Rio, we fell head over heels in love with the upbeat Labrador retriever mix. We both showered him with attention, taking him for walks, playing fetch and sneaking him treats, trying to become his favorite.
But Rio was so friendly that one of our close friends declared during a dinner party, “I think I’m Rio’s favorite person!” Unsurprisingly, neither of us found that even slightly amusing.
This begs the question: Do dogs have a favorite personand is it you? To get to the bottom of this canine quandary, I reached out to an experienced veterinarian for answers. Read on to find out if you’re the No. 1 human in your dog’s life.
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Do dogs have a favorite person?
Many dogs “absolutely” have a favorite person, according to veterinarian Page Mader, DVM, co-owner of American Animal Hospital Associationaccredited Five Parks Animal Hospital in Arvada, Colorado. That favorite person tends to be the family member who most frequently meets their physical and emotional needs.
“A dog’s favorite person is usually the caretaker,” she says. “Not only are they providing the day-to-day care, but they’re also giving them affection and making them feel good about themselves, and enriching their bond by making them more confident.”
What else influences how (or whether) a dog plays favorites?
Dogs are individuals, so not all will develop a favorite person. Conversely, some loyal dog breeds are more inclined to bond specifically with one person, sometimes to the exclusion of others. That’s why Dr. Mader adopted a Rhodesian ridgeback mix named Grace when she was singlethe breed is known for its loyalty.
A Japanese Akita named Hachiko was famously so bonded to his favorite person that after his owner’s death, he still waited every evening at a train station for the man to return from work. His loyalty touched the nation of Japan, earned him a statue outside the train station and inspired the Richard Gere film Hachi: A Dog’s Tale.
Other dog breeds inclined to bond strongly to a favorite person include:
- Chihuahuas
- Beagles
- Dachshunds
- German shepherds
- Doberman pinschers
Personality and temperament can also come into play. For instance, a shy, fearful dog might gravitate to the calmest member of the household, while a confident, energetic dog may play favorites with the extroverted jogger in the family.
How can you tell if your dog loves you the most?
Sometimes it seems easy to tell if your dog loves you the most. My Yorkshire terrier mix, Tux, follows me everywhereand if I sit down, he immediately leaps into my lap for a snuggle. But he also jumps into a lap anytime anyone sits down, and sometimes he’ll wander from lap to lap during the holidays or other group gatherings.
By understanding dog behavior, you can use clues to try to determine who your dog’s favorite person really is. The signs below are a good place to start.
It respects you
If your dog listens to your cues, like running to you when you call, “Come!” or sitting when you ask it to, here’s some good news: That’s a sign your pup loves you, according to Dr. Mader.
“Most dogs are people pleasers, so most of them want to please their favorite person by doing what the owner wants them to do,” she says.
Its tail tells you
Dogs communicate a lot with their tails. And while a wagging tail doesn’t always mean your dog is happy, a full-body wag when you get home is a good sign it’s delighted to see you.
“A tail wag does not always mean that is a happy, content dog. They can wag their tail when they’re really scared and nervous,” Dr. Mader says. “But shaking their booty and dancing around is usually a sign of true happiness.”
Happy dogs also might wag their tails while they’re lying down. My little dog, Tux, was sleeping in my lap recently and even wagged his tail in his sleep.
It wants to be near you
One reason your dog may follow you everywhere: It has a strong attachment to you because you’re its favorite person. Our dogs have always had free run of our homes, but they often choose to lie at my feet or in a nearby bed while I’m working at my desk.
But clingy dogs sometimes become too bonded to their favorite person and develop separation anxiety, Dr. Mader cautions. The condition can lead to barking and destructive behavior, like chewing up furniture. “If they absolutely don’t want the owner out of their sight, they may have separation anxiety,” she says. “It’s a fine line.”
It gazes into your eyes
There are dog facial expressions that give the appearance of love, and then there’s staring softly into our eyes, a dog’s way of directly showing love for its favorite person.
Go ahead and gaze back at your BFF. As a study in Science reports, it produces the love hormone oxytocinfor both ourselves and our dogs.
Dogs will also glance at their trusted human for direction and guidance. When we first adopted Tux around age 5, he would automatically lunge and bark at passing dogs on leashed walks. Thanks to advice from his trainer, I started saying his name and asking him to sit for a treat whenever I saw another dog approaching. Now when Tux spots a dog on a walk, he immediately turns to look at me and then sits for a treat.
It loves to snuggle or lean into you
Some toy dog breeds, like pugs and shih tzus, were bred to be lapdogs. But bigger dogs might show affection by leaning into you. Once, I almost fell down when a friend’s affectionate Great Dane decided to lean his whole body into me while I was standing. He had the heart of a lapdog!
Can a dog’s favorite family member change over time?
A dog’s favorite family member can certainly change, according to Dr. Mader. “It could just be a shift in the household. Maybe the favorite person went off to college, and now they’re not around anymore, so the new favorite person is the mom or the other daughter,” she says. “A change in the dynamics of the home can make that happen.”
She also notes that if the mental state of the favorite person changes, their dog might gravitate to someone whose behavior is more consistent. In fact, a recent study found human stress negatively affects dogs by making them pessimistic.
“If the person is in emotional turmoil, the dog might not want to leave their side because they know their owner is grieving and having a hard time,” she explains. “But they also might be confused if they aren’t getting good direction anymore and seek out a different companion.”
Personally, I saw Rio’s favoritism shift based on who was giving him the most exercise. When he was young, I considered myself his favorite person because we spent so much time together, from hiking 2 miles each morning to taking trips to obedience classes and hitting the dog park each evening. But when I broke my foot and couldn’t put weight on it for eight weeks, my husband, Bryan, took our dog out for walksand suddenly Rio chose to sleep near Bryan on the couch or in his home office, even though I was still the one feeding him meals. Being able to bond with my dog again was the main reason I was relieved to get out of the orthopedic boot and back on the hiking trails.
Can rescue dogs learn to love a new favorite person?
As anyone who’s ever adopted a dog from an animal shelter, rescue organization or different household knows, rescue dogs can definitely learn to love their new families and develop a new favorite person.
When Bryan and I adopted a senior poodle named Peach, she’d been in a foster home for 80 days. At the adoption event, she seemed obsessed with her foster mom, even staring after her when she disappeared through a door to leave us alone with Peach for private time. I told the adoption coordinator that we would feel guilty taking the little dog away from her favorite person, but she handed me a can of wet dog food and said, “Dogs are less complicated with their love than we are. When you get home, offer her some of this canned dog food with your fingers. It sounds gross, but trust me.”
Sure enough, it worked like a charm. Peach wiggled her body happily and curled up for a nap in my lap soon after. Within days, I felt like her new favorite person.
“Dogs live very much in the present,” says Dr. Mader. “They don’t focus on the past, and they don’t think about the future so much. They are focused on what’s right in front of them. You can a 100% become their new favorite person.”
How can you become your dog’s favorite human?
Your path to becoming a dog’s favorite human depends on the individual dog and its favorite enrichment activities, according to Dr. Mader.
“Some dogs only care about treats. Some care about playing fetch. Some care about going to the dog park,” she says. “So figure out what the best enrichment is for that specific dog, and then support that. If they are a type of breed that needs a job, give them a job to do. If they are a type of breed whose mind goes a mile a minute, give them puzzles and things to satisfy their brain and that desire.”
She’s quick to note that giving a dog too many treats is not a healthy way to try to become their favorite human. Overweight and obese dogs face health risks like heart disease, diabetes and joint issues. “Food is not love,” she emphasizes. “You’re just contributing to your dog’s decline.”
Instead of using treats as a shortcut to bonding with your dog, Dr. Mader suggests:
- Doing positive-reinforcement training. Positive training is key to strengthening our bonds with our dogs. Punishing a dog by hitting it or using shock, prong or choke collars will create fear and damage the human-animal bond. Try taking an obedience class together with a positive-reinforcement trainer and keep practicing at home as a fun way to strengthen your bond.
- Taking social dogs on outings. Because Rio was such an affectionate, outgoing dog, I took him to agility classes once a week; we had to learn to trust each other and work as a team. For five years, we also visited hospital patients as a therapy-dog team. He loved the chance to interact with other dogs and people. We even took him to dog-friendly breweries and on errands to the bank, where tellers kept dog biscuits for well-behaved pups.
- Setting boundaries and expectations. “Dogs thrive when they know what to expect and what is expected of them,” Dr. Mader says. “The classic is routine: getting fed at the same time and going for the same number of walks around the same time of day, probably with the same person. It creates a stronger bond.” For instance, her current foster dog, Hobbs, is gaining confidence around her because she is so consistent with him.
- Paying attention on walks. Instead of listening to a podcast or talking on the phone during walks, keep your focus on your dog. “It’s important that you focus on their body language and how they’re feeling,” she notes. “If you’re distracted on your phone, you may not pick up on that.”
- Offering enrichment. Food games and puzzle toys will help keep your dog’s mind stimulated. For instance, on snowy days when our walks with Tux need to be shorter, Bryan and I play hide-and-seek with our dog instead of feeding him a meal in a bowl. We each hide with a small handful of kibble and take turns calling out, “Tux! Come!” When he finds us, we praise him and give him a piece of food.
- Using physical touch. When dogs are not stressed or acting out, show them your gratitude and love by petting them. Some dogs enjoy massages or being groomed. (Peach particularly loved when I combed the fur on her neck.) You might accompany it with high-pitched baby talk, which research has found sets dogs at ease and elicits a stronger response from them.
One way or another, take a breath, tell your dog you love it and relax into the comfort of being able to share your life with a dogeven if you aren’t its favorite person quite yet.
About the expert
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Why trust us
At Reader’s Digest, we’re committed to producing high-quality content by writers with expertise and experience in their field in consultation with relevant, qualified experts. For this piece, Jen Reeder tapped her experience as a longtime pet journalist, the former president of the Dog Writers Association of America and a dog owner. We rely on reputable primary sources, including government and professional organizations and academic institutions as well as our writers’ personal experiences where appropriate. We verify all facts and data, back them with credible sourcing and revisit them over time to ensure they remain accurate and up to date. Read more about our team, our contributors and our editorial policies.
Sources:
- Page Mader, DVM, co-owner of AAHA-accredited Five Parks Animal Hospital in Arvada, Colorado; phone interview, Jan. 11, 2025
- Scientific Reports: “The odour of an unfamiliar stressed or relaxed person affects dogs’ responses to a cognitive bias test”
- Science: “Oxytocin-gaze positive loop and the coevolution of human-dog bonds”
- PLOS One: “Does training method matter? Evidence for the negative impact of aversive-based methods on companion dog welfare”
- Communications Biology: “Dog brains are sensitive to infant- and dog-directed prosody”
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